Getting Louder with Steven Crowder: Go Green... Not!

Monty Python, I love thee

Take that MPAA, RIAA and other uptight entertainers who cry about how the internet and file sharing has "cost you oh so much money!" Monty Python embraced modern technology and offered their videos for free... yes free.... on You Tube. Based on the failed theory of the RIAA and MPAA, these guys should be broke by now. But quite the contrary... DVD sales have boosed by leaps and bounds. Fast Company reports that if you compare DVD sales figures on Amazon before and after the creation of the Monty Python YouTube channel, the boost apparently tallies in at around 23,000%.

The Bagel Rant

Based on an actual rant:

I like bagels with cream cheese, but none of that weird shit. Buying bagels at a place like Einstein Bros is too expensive for what you get. For starters, there is never enough cream cheese... then they hit you with the price. $5 for a bagel with cream cheese? You got to be kidding me! Seriously, what happened to being able to get a plain bagel with regular cream cheese for $2. I can get a double cheese burger at McDonald's for half that price, so you would not think that $2 would be unreasonable. It's not like I'm ordering some fancy pizza bagel.

Who thought up a pizza bagel anyways? Just cause two things taste good seperatly does not mean that they work together. If I wanted pizza I'd be at a pizza place... not a bagel shop. I don't see Double Daves offering me cream cheese on my pizza and calling it a bagel pizza. Lets keep these things seperate, thanks!

And no, I don't want to try the honey whole wheat with the 25% reduced fat jalapeno salsa shmear. In fact, I want you to use a clean spreader, not the one you just rinsed off after making that other guy's bagel! Cause last time there was that one bite of my normal plain bagel that tasted like honey almond. What's with that shit? If I wanted my bagel to taste like ass I'll just order it that way.

In conclusion... I just want a plain bagel with cream cheese at a reasonable price... is that too much to ask for? I guess so... must be why I rarely get bagels!

Editors Note: The author of the Bagel Rant wishes to remain anonymous. For more bagel visit the following:
Mr. Bagel
The Fashion Bee: Bagels??
The Volokh Conspiracy: The Bagel
Good Girl Gone Blog: Every Day Should Be a Bagel Day
The Seattle Times: The Bagel From Outerspace
The New York Times: Satisfying a Bagel Craving in Beijing

PSA: Stand Up For Kids & Gazelle

I am passing the following information on as a Public Service Announcement...

We've all seen the news and know of the tough economic times. Here at STANDUP FOR KIDS we're reminded of the more than 1.3 million homeless and street kids in the US that face these pressures and worse; everyday of their lives. Even though the times are hard, STANDUP FOR KIDS cannot falter in its mission of seeking out and assisting America's homeless and at-risk youth. So this year the help that we're asking for doesn't have to come from your wallet.

During the Holiday Season I'm sure most families, like mine, received several new electronic items, you can recycle your old ones and help us help homeless and street kids from the proceeds. STANDUP FOR KIDS has partnered with Gazelle.com, the leading online marketplace for trading in old electronics, to turn old gadgets into cash donations allowing us to start-up in new cities and reaching more kids.

Gazelle is the fastest, easiest way for you to turn electronics you are no longer using into donations for STANDUP FOR KIDS. The Environmental Protection Agency reported that in 2005 the U.S. alone generated 2.6 million tons of eWaste. You can help turn this problem into a solution by encouraging people to donate their unused gadgets to Gazelle and having the proceeds sent to STANDUP FOR KIDS. Gazelle accepts cell phones, laptops, digital cameras, camcorders, MP3 players, gaming systems, GPS devices, satellite radios, and external hard drives.

Your donation of old electronics will not only allow you to clean out some clutter, but also help the environment and allows STANDUP FOR KIDS to offset the downward slide in monetary donations during these tough economic times. Gather your old electronics and click on the image to GET STARTED. Gazelle will send you a box if needed and a prepaid shipping label so that it cost you nothing. Forward this email to your friends and family (or post it on your blog) and encourage them to join you in helping to save a kid's life.

Editors Note: The Houston group is currently looking for volunteers. Contact them at Houston@standupforkids.org

Getting Louder with Steven Crowder: A Farewell to Bush

Trooping for a Cause

Dear Readers:

The Star Garrison of the 501st has decided to take a stand and fight back against cancer by participating in the American Cancer Society - Bay Area Relay For Life event on April 24th and 25th. Please support us in this important cause by making a secure, tax-deductible donation online (or for a printable form) and also check out our team page.

Our team goal is $2,000 which is very do able with your help! If you are not aware of Relay For Life is a life-changing event that brings together more than 3.5 million people worldwide to:

• CELEBRATE the lives of those who have battled cancer. The strength of survivors inspires others to continue to fight.
• REMEMBER loved ones lost to the disease. At Relay, people who have walked alongside people battling cancer can grieve and find healing.
• FIGHT BACK. We Relay because we have been touched by cancer and desperately want to put an end to the disease.

Whatever you can give will help - it all adds up! I greatly appreciate your support.

Thanks! Alan

Also.... Check Out These Pictures from the 2008 event

Test Your Force Powers at Home

You just can't make up stuff this good: (Straight from USA Today) and brought to my attention by Darth Vader

Could The Force be with you? A toy due in stores this fall will let you test and hone your Jedi-like abilities.

The Force Trainer (expected to be priced at $90 to $100) comes with a headset that uses brain waves to allow players to manipulate a sphere within a clear 10-inch-tall training tower, analogous to Yoda and Luke Skywalker's abilities in the Star Wars films.

No, you're not tapping into some "all-powerful force controlling everything," as Han Solo said in the movies. But you are reaching out with mind power via one of the first mass-market brain-to-computer products. "It's been a fantasy everyone has had, using The Force," says Howard Roffman, president of Lucas Licensing.

Mind-control games may be the coming thing: Mattel plans to demonstrate a Mind Flex game (also due this fall), which uses brain-wave activity to move a ball through a tabletop obstacle course, at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas on Thursday.

In the Force Trainer, a wireless headset reads your brain activity, in a simplified version of EEG medical tests, and the circuitry translates it to physical action. If you focus well enough, the training sphere, which looks like a ping-pong ball, will rise in the tower.

Need to Write a Reserach Paper Abstract?

Piled Higher and Deeper (PhD) Comics has impressed me again... This is an amazingly useful tool to any graduate student out there in need of some help with writing an abstract.

Getting Louder with Steven Crowder: Hamas children, the gays and Sarah Palin!

Getting Louder with Steven Crowder: Go Team Isreal!

Five Final Notes About 2008

As the year came to a close, here are a few last minute items you may have missed due to New Year's party planning or Christmas vacations...

5: Most Will Torture if Told To

Shocking! ... repeat a famous experiment and the results are the same! "Seventy percent of volunteers continued to administer electrical shocks — or at least they believed they were doing so — even after an actor claimed they were painful." Stanley Milgram taught us the same lesson back in the 1960's, I am sure that no one is paying attention to this one either. So now that we have confirmed this will we still place blame on individuals? Or are the ones giving the orders to blame? What about free will? What about a free condo on mars?

4: Mars was Habitable

Evidence of a key mineral on Mars has been found at several locations on the planet's surface, suggesting that any microbial life that might have been there back when the planet was wetter could have lived comfortably. Ok, so there is constantly more Mars findings that tell us that they may have been life at one point... but the important question is when are we getting to go there? Or set up a space community... just think... "Mars... the ultimate vacation home."

3: Cars That Park Themselves


Are you one of the vast number of people out there who just can't seem to parallel park? Not to worry, Ford has solved that problem for you. Ford Active Park Assist will debut as an option on the 2010 Lincoln MKS sedan and the new seven-passenger Lincoln MKT luxury crossover vehicle. People complain that driving an automatic is cheating... just wait till they see this. Ironically, those who prefer stick shifts are the same people who have problems parallel parking.

2: People Desire to Smell Like Meat

Did you miss the #1 Christmas gift this year? Well then perhaps this will help fill the void. The Burger King body spray "Flame." The company describes the spray as "the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat." The only thing less sexy to a woman than not being able to park your own car... smelling like meat.

1: Yogis Have Better Sex

According to a recent review in the Dec. 3 issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine (yeah, who knew this was a real journal?) sexually unsatisfied women who practiced yoga reported improvements in levels of arousal and desire, as well as better orgasms. As MSNBC puts it, "The article acknowledges that mindfulness and yoga are challenging, but they also can be fun — and whose sex life couldn’t benefit from a little mental and physical flexibility?" Interestingly the article said nothing about the sex life of those smelling like meat.